What if I told you that the very thing we fear the most is ourselves and not others- would you agree? I believe that the single greatest obstacle in our lives are not other people; instead it’s our procrastination, lack of focus, insecurities, and doubts in our abilities. These are all things within our control. However, only a trained and disciplined mind can continuously overcome these challenges. The key to obtaining our heart’s desire is not go over or under these obstacle’s, but to push on through to the other side. Marianne Williamson said, “Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our Light, not our Darkness, that most frightens us.” The outside world is only a manifestation of our inner world. Let us not seek solace in mediocrity, but instead take comfort in our greatness. After all, that’s what we were designed to be. So fear no more and let’s learn how to keep the lights on.

Often times we find ourselves not fully accepting compliments, because we don’t want to seem arrogant or conceited. We deflect, diminish, and even sometimes completely negate the positive feedback- despite the fact that we know we’ve done an awesome job. We do this in an effort to appear humble and/or not to draw too much attention to ourselves. The more attention we receive, the more likely people are, “….to bite back and fracture what’s in tact…” Let the haters hate! The reason that I never quit on my dream of writing and having a blog wasn’t because of all of the support I received- it was due to the doubters. It was the people who laughed at me and my dream that fueled the fire to keep going- even if it took 3 years. Although, my haters have become my motivators- what spurs me on the most is wanting to make my own self happy. I realize that I’m my own biggest competition. I would never quit on my family and friends- so why would I quit on myself?

Friends have told me for years that I have a knack for writing. On a deep level, I knew this, but besides writing in my journal- poems and short stories- I was scared to share my work. I thought that I was scared of failure. The funny thing is that I fail all the time! That is something that I’m actually pretty good at! I fail to follow the instructions on all these Pinterest recipes that I promise my family I’m going to make, I fail at giving up drinking Coca-Cola and go off on a binge for weeks at a time- before I grab a hold of myself, and I keep failing at trying to lose these 20lbs of quarantine lusciousness I’ve acquired in 2020. The fact of the matter is, it’s not a fear of failure- it’s a fear of succeeding and training myself to be disciplined and focused enough to put in the real work I need to do in order to succeed.

As the years pass by, time seems to be going at warp speed. I no longer can look at my life like I did when I was in my twenties- wide eyed and naive- thinking I had all the time in the world to exact my carefully laid plans. I realize that life will throw you some curve balls and definitely some fast and hard pitches. The key is to be prepared. Oprah said, “I believe luck is preparation meeting opportunity.” It’s easier to make sure others don’t impede our growth, but sometimes we ourselves, are our biggest obstacle. I decided that I am no longer going to let opportunities pass me by, nor will I allow my fear of greatness to hold me back. If I still fail after giving my all- did I really fail? All experiences good and bad have valuable lessons. I believe that sometimes success is not a destination, but instead the jewels are found in the journey. What God has in store for you- let no man put asunder. “Out of the night that covers me, black as pit from pole to pole, I thank whatever gods may be for my unconquerable soul.” William Ernest Henley

In the end, I believe that what is for you- will eventually find you- if you let it. Be open, do the work, have some faith, and most importantly don’t get in your own way. Keep going and pursuing your dreams no matter how long it takes. Know that God didn’t make any mistakes. In the book The Alchemist it states, “When you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it.” Promise yourself that you won’t be scared of succeeding and shining to the brightest of your capacity. Don’t fear failure nor success- sometimes they are two sides of the same coin. Fear only giving up on yourself. The world is dark enough on it’s own- make sure you always keep that light on inside you!

Speaking Frankly,

Janay Durand Frank