Where do I begin? If Kevin Hart hadn’t already wrote a book called I Can’t Make This Up, I definitely would! Or even better, Issa Rae’s web series, The Mis-Adventures of an Awkward Black Girl, would be a hilarious comparison to parts of my life- minus the single and awkward part. The fact of the matter is that the craziest things and people seem to magically pop in and out of my life all the time. The stories are zany, random and most times leave me asking the question in my valley girl voice, “Wheeeeeet”? Luckily for me, I have friends that have equally bizarre stories that we can share and compare to try and make sense of it all.

I may still try and contact Andy Cohen and pitch to him why Peoria would make the next great franchise on Bravo for The Real Housewives of Peoria. We would never run short on chaos and high drama. For a long time I felt like I was embroiled in a lot if it and perhaps, in my younger years, caused some of it too. Most times conflicts arise out of miscommunication. People just don’t take the time or effort to understand why the other party is hurt and injured by what the other has done. Too often, people would rather be right than to be real. Osho says, “Nothing kills the ego like playfulness, like laughter. When you start taking life as fun, the ego has to die, it cannot exist anymore.” Just think, the times when we truly connect with one another is when we laugh- whether that’s on social media by sharing a meme or laughing at a party with complete strangers. Laughter always seems to be the best ice breaker. There’s something about that lightness that tears the barriers of pretense and self-protection down so that the little kid in us can shine through.

The moment I stopped taking myself so seriously and began to laugh at all the tomfoolery around me was the moment that I began to find peace. I make my peace of mind a priority now and avoid drama like the plague. Comments that would have previously caused an argument have turned into a comedy session of roasting one another over how petty we were. As much as I joke about being a real housewife of Peoria- that couldn’t be farther from who I am now. Do I want to be right or do I want peace? Eckhart Tolle says, “You can always easily recognize that something is coming from the ego because when you get it, it doesn’t satisfy you.” This applies to friendships, material things, and circumstances. Recognizing whether or not things in your life are coming from spirit or ego will help to alleviate a lot of unnecessary drama in your life.

I think I’ll always love to watch some form of drama on TV, because it’s an escape. However, having it in my real life is no longer an option. Ayishat A. Akanbi says that, “Self care is also not arguing with people who are committed to misunderstanding you.” I’m still that silly girl at heart who loves to laugh and have a good time! That will never change, but I’ve learned to not take what others have to say about me so seriously- and that’s what has made all the difference in the world! The days of me raging out on folks and wanting to flip over a table like Teresa Guidice or check someone when they get out of pocket like Nene Leakes- BLOOOP- are over! I’m trying to do my best Michelle Obama vibe- when they go low, we go high! The best advice I can give anyone is to keep laughing! Every time you feel yourself being pulled into other people’s nonsense, repeat these words: “not my circus, not my monkeys.” Even though I’m surrounded by a cast of characters, and Lord knows I’m one of them- I’m now armed with the knowledge that I have a choice.  The choice is to attempt to always choose spirit over ego and choosing laughing with others instead of laughing at them. I’ll let the ladies of the Real Housewives franchise throw all the shade while I bask in the light of the sun- laying on my couch eating Bon-Bons. LOL! Wink Wink

Speaking Frankly,

Janay Durand Frank