I don’t know how or why I fell in love with gangster movies? I can remember being in middle school and curling up and getting cozy on the black leather tufted couch in the family room and watching one after the other on a Saturday night. Some of my favorites are: The Untouchables, The Godfather, Scarface, Hoodlum, Casino, and my favorite Goodfellas. I think it was the excitement that drew me in- operating above the law and seemingly not being confined to what is considered just or good by society, but instead deciding what that meant to them. After all, every law isn’t moral and everyone who commits a crime isn’t a bad person. But mostly, I loved how they chose to govern themselves by their own set of standards and codes. We know that a “made-man” was not to be touched and if that happened- there would surely be consequences more dire than any court of law could impose. However, in the end, there’s always a price to pay and her name is Karma.

Remember when Al Pacino’s character Michael Corleone in The Godfather part II gave his older brother Fredo the kiss of death after he discovers his betrayal? This scene relates to how we feel towards the end of some of our relationships; both romantic and platonic. You can only feel true betrayal from someone who you trusted implicitly. Unfortunately, sharing the same blood or calling someone a best friend doesn’t protect you from the pain of disloyalty. In fact, the odds of treachery grows exponentially the more people we have in our lives that we keep close to us. Despite these losses that will surely come, we must not build up walls so high and tight that love can’t reach. Instead we must sharpen our EQ (emotional intelligence) and have better discernment. Our guts know when something is off about someone, but sometimes our hearts are louder than our rational minds. We can learn to cut toxic people off and figuratively give them the “kiss of death” and move on.

Another one of my favorite movies, Kill Bill- Hattori Hanzo tells Uma Thurman’s character who is seeking revenge on the assassins who left her for dead that “Revenge is never a straight line. It’s a forest, and like a forest it’s easy to lose your way, to get lost, to forget where you came in.” In another words, it’s a crooked path. As I get older I realize that all endings don’t need closure. The idea that you just deserve better and aren’t accepting less is more than enough. We obviously aren’t operating like Samurai sword wielding assassins or mobsters- instead we allow karma to do her job. My dad always told me that Newton’s third law states that for every action in nature there’s an equal and opposite reaction. There’s no need to seek revenge or to add mileage to your own karma. Let the natural law take its place. It might not happen when you want, but it eventually will.

“Relationships never die a natural death…They are murdered by Ego, Attitude, and Ignorance…” There’s a time and place for everything. There’s a season, a reason, and a lifetime for our relationships. Only you can decide how to allot them. When their time is over, the key is to know when to let it go and learn the lesson that it provided, as to not have that lesson come to you again in the form of another person. However, a good friend of mine has a different and very interesting take on friendships when they begin to sour. Her belief is that these people we call friends have clearly come into our lives for a reason and we hold dear memories with them- everyone doesn’t need to be cut off, but instead moved into the proper “concentric circle.” I feel like her way is more gracious, kind, and loving. Nevertheless, it takes me awhile to get to a point of no return, but once I do- I’m a Michael Corleone mixed with a Tony Montana and there’s no force on Earth that can change my mind.

I guess I’m stuck between trying to figure out whether to give people more grace and have, “Honor Among Thieves”? As long as the code they broke wasn’t thee #1 law- can we move on? After all, we all fall short in our lives and want others to forgive us our sins. Nonetheless, we also have to teach people how to treat us. No pain- no gain. I guess there can be honor among thieves, because they know that all debts will be paid in this life or the next. So no one can truly get away with their betrayals. In the end, no one can escape their karma. Even in the gangster/revenge movies, there was always a price to pay. Whether I decide to give someone “the kiss of death” or move them to an outer ring in my “concentric circle” of friends- I know that I don’t need to seek retribution. I suppose the draw to these movies is the slither of darkest in my own heart that feels like there’s no need to fuss over the frivolous details and disappointments that all relationships ,at some point, will bring. Que sera sera! But, what I know for sure is that revenge is a dish best served cold. Inevitably karma will find them no matter how long it takes and serve them exactly what they deserve mobster style.

Speaking Frankly,

Janay Durand Frank